You’ve heard of the Nigerian prince scam? Well, here’s the stranded Federation starship scam.
“Live Fast and Prosper” is a very slight, silly episode with nothing to say. I love it.
A lot of this comes down to Kaitlin Hopkins, who is so charismatic as “Captain Janeway” that I was ready to give her my credit card details before the teaser ended. Without doing anything so crass as a Kate Mulgrew impression, Hopkins is commanding and authoritative, sublimely self-confident even when she’s being patronised by Neelix in the brig. Her alter ego, “Sister” Dala, provider for orphans, is equally charming.
And this is good, because “con artists pose as the Voyager crew to grift people” is a concept that can easily go wrong. Like Voyager itself, the execution will succeed or fail on the strength of its captain. Hopkins takes to that role so successfully that it’s genuinely shocking when “Chakotay” turns on her in the final act.
Meanwhile, Gregg Daniel is very much doing a Tim Russ impression as the false Tuvok, but that works, too. Mobar is a thief, but he’s also a method actor, and not quite as good at improv as Dala. But then we see that Tuvok is also not adept at yes-anding Janeway, so again: method.
(Important question: which is worse, grifting or improv? I recall from the one season of Leverage that I watched that there’s an argument to be made that they’re closely related.)
(Hi, it’s me, the one person who really didn’t care for Leverage and hates hearing about it.)
Appropriately, “Chakotay” has the smallest role and his impersonator is disaffected and whingey. He doesn’t even get a name on screen — the script apparently called him “Zar” — and in retrospect it makes perfect sense that he turns on Janeway. (For vicarious Janeway/Chakotay, we will have to wait another week.) I do not for a minute believe that this is an intentional nod at Robert Beltran’s attitudes around this time, but I do think it’s very funny.
To say that Neelix and Tom are losing it presupposes they ever had “it”
We eventually learn, via flashback, that this whole business started when Tom and Neelix got conned by Dala and Mobar, posing as clerics and taking advantage of the Federation’s tendency to nod politely and tune out whenever religion comes up.
Realising they’ve been had triggers a minor crisis of ego for the two, who have bonded in the past over their allegedly sordid pasts. (I mean. Let’s be real, Tom is basically a rich guy who committed vehicular manslaughter, which is not nothing, but it’s not exactly the mark of a hardened criminal. And Neelix suffered a major crisis of conscience over a bit of very minor arms dealing. Which is, again, bad, but, like, Quark was out there using enslaved people for free labour, and he’s an alleged pillar of the community.)
True to form, they try and fail to prove they’re still criminal masterminds by tricking the Doctor with sleight of hand. It doesn’t work, but it’s cute that they think this is the solution, and cuter still that they — and the Doctor — do save the day via a different type of sleight of hand. They are, to quote a Lady Gaga deep cut, paper gangstas, and should be gently patted on the head, reassured that they’re very bad indeed, and given extra pudding before bed.
This episode has two missing scenes
We don’t need to see the meeting at which Janeway and her crew set out their plan to retrieve all the stolen property and capture the criminals, but six seasons and twenty-one episodes into Star Trek: Voyager, we can safely assume that there was a moment where Janeway smirked and said, “Time to grift the grifters.” I feel this deep in my bones.
The second is a scene which I distinctly remembered watching, but apparently I completely made it up in my head: Tuvok and Mobar bonding over Vulcan culture and the philosophy of Surak. Was it a missing scene fic I read on alt.startrek.creative twenty-four years ago? Does it just seem like something which could have happened? I don’t know, but I’m disappointed we never got to see it.
Apparently there was a cut scene in this episode, in which Dala impersonated Seven of Nine. I’m slightly disappointed that it was removed, because I would have enjoyed seeing that, but at the same time, Dala’s relationship with Janeway is so interesting that I’m glad it wasn’t diluted.
It’s not that I’m shipping Janeway/Dala, BUT…
There’s a moment where Dala asks Neelix, “Your captain is a woman?” and her eyes light up as she speaks. And yes, that’s a con artist sensing an opportunity, but the dismissive way she’s treated by Zar makes me wonder if they don’t come from a relatively patriarchal culture, and she’s excited for a leadership role.
Later, her interactions with Janeway in the brig aren’t quite flirtatious, but they’re also not entirely devoid of spark. Does Dala want to do Janeway or be Janeway? Maybe not even she knows.
That ambiguity ties in with the cosplay, fan film feel to the false “Delta Flyer”’s set-up, from the extremely aftermarket Federation decor to the ill-fitting costumes with comically large pips and cheap wigs. “I am going to impersonate the object of my desire” is … not exactly a rare phenomenon in fandom, whether literally through cosplay, or via the medium of fan fiction.
It’s also not unheard of for a fan who has spent a lot of time mentally customising their favourite character to re-encounter the original and feel disappointment, as Dala does when she finally meets the real Janeway. Fannish love and contempt are closely entwined, and yes, Dala falls more on the contempt side of the coin, but there’s something there.
Orrrrrrrr maybe I’m giving Dala too much credit. But I love her and I want her to be happy, even if she is making bad choices to the very end.
Other observations
- this season has given us a LOT of “worn-down subordinate employees who come in the form of bickering duos”, and it’s getting a bit old
- I really do love the design of the fake Voyager costumes, which genuinely look like they were made by people who were on a tight budget and willing to cut every corner
- it’s possible that Temu Chakotay had a greater presence in this episode than Chakotay actual
In conclusion
Look, this is fun. Three and a half starving orphans out of five, and you get to choose how the half-orphan is split! How can you say no to that?